Funeral Wishes
Preparing Your Funeral Wishes
We cannot stress enough what a good idea it is to put your affairs in order and to make known your wishes for your care should you get sick, and for your funeral should you depart suddenly from this world! Being prepared is one of the biggest gifts you can give your nearest and dearest, especially if you have children. This preparation doesn't have to be difficult and can go a very long way to helping your close family, friends and community do what needs to be done gracefully and easily when your time of passing comes.
It's also a courageous step to face your mortality and to dream into what you'd like to happen when you die in terms of funeral arrangements. None of us know the day or hour we'll leave our physical body but if we've made a will, and made our funeral wishes known, we can feel we've done all we can in preparation for the unknown. Does anyone even know if you'd like to be buried or cremated? Have you thought about it? Being a Minister and holding funerals and memorials for people we're very aware of the difficulties faced by family and friends when people die suddenly without having made a will, or without making their funeral wishes known and we want to support people to be prepared. Your family and friends might consider you silly or that you're tempting fate, so if you need a little encouragement we're here to offer support.
If you would find it helpful to clarify your funeral wishes - everything from whether you'd like to be buried or cremated, to the content of your funeral ceremony - then please contact us. We can meet in person or we can arrange to talk over the phone to work through a series of questions examining different possibilities. You may not even be aware of all the possibilities available to you - these days your ashes can be made into diamonds and even let off as fireworks, so if you'd like to go out with a bang, you can quite literally!
Once we'd prepared a document for you we'd post it or e-mail to you. You could then sign and date it and make a friend or family member aware of its existence and whereabouts. We'd also keep this document on computer so if you wanted to revisit it each year to potentially amend or update anything you could. Please note that what we prepare for you is not a legal document. We'd suggest you show it to your solicitor and if possible include a paragraph in your will that you would like your funeral to be held according to your wishes as detailed in the separate document attached.
Have You Made A Will?
We advise contacting your local solicitor to make a will. The Natural Death Handbook reads
many lawyers would say that they can make more money out of poor home-made
wills than they do out of drawing up wills for clients - enough said!
Have You Made A Living Will?
To make or to find out more about a Living Will (what happens if you get sick or have an accident
and can't make decisions) contact The Natural Death Centre who provide a form which can be ordered
over the phone or online for a small fee (email
mike@naturaldeath.org.uk or call 0871 2882098).
Find out more on The Natural Death Centre Website www.naturaldeath.org.uk.
I have a real sense of achievement which is all due to your help guiding
me through the planning of the funeral from start to finish. I feel safe and at peace knowing my
wishes for the whole of my funeral have been taken care of. I'm sure it'll be a great help to my
family and friends. A roller coaster of emotions, but very liberating - thank you very much!
JS, Moray, July 2007
I knew I needed to sort something out for the sake of my children. I'd
written my will already with my solicitor, that was easy, but I didn't know what to do about the
practical detail that doesn't go in a will. Going through the questions with you helped me get
clear about what I'd like and what would need to take place in the event of my death. I'm relieved
that it's done now, at peace with what I decided and thankful for the understanding and ease you
showed me with the emotions that came up for me. Also for the thoroughness, care and sensitivity
you held throughout the process. This is something I'd recommend to everyone, certainly to all
parents - it's not tempting fate, it's common sense and a gift to your nearest and dearest, the
people who'll feel most devastated in the event of your death and who'll need the most help.
MH, Moray, November 2007