Difficult Circumstances
Being Sensitive To Each Situation
Sometimes the circumstances surrounding our loved one's death are simple; they were elderly, they had a good and long life, and they died peacefully in their sleep.
But life and death are more often than not filled with complexities - of illness, accidents, misadventure, injustice.
How do you cope with sudden, shocking and violent death in its different forms? Disaster? Murder? Suicide? How do you cope with losing a child never mind having to think about preparing a funeral for them? And what about when the person who's died has left a trail of destruction or unhappiness in the wake of their life? What sort of a funeral is fitting for them?
We hope we can offer sensitive support with a fitting ceremony whatever situation has arisen for you.
Death Of A Child
We understand that the death of a child feels against natural timing - as parents you expect your children to outlive you. We aim to be a caring presence, standing beside you in your grief offering support to you whatever you're feeling without judgement. We will listen and give you space to express and to mourn and be there to help you however that looks. We can be with you and your pain whilst supporting you to create something of comfort to all the family.
There's a wonderful organisation offering support called Compassionate Friends who have a UK website called www.tcf.org.uk.
A Crisis In Faith
What do you do when difficult circumstances surround your loss? When any faith or beliefs you've had have been challenged and shaken by what's happened? Together we can create something that acknowledges circumstances and events in a sensitive and appropriate way; we can take into account the beliefs you've had until this time, and also how you're feeling now (please know it's very natural to question your faith if you have one at times such as these and you don't have to pretend all is well in that department if it's not). We can bring healing and comfort or move in the direction of healing and comfort if it feels a long way off given what's taken place.
A Violent Death / Suicide
When a person chooses to end their own life it can be an especially painful and difficult time of questioning and confusion. However you're feeling we can come and be with you just as you are. We can be with you in your shock and pain and help you to bring together all the elements needed for a funeral ceremony that's sensitive and appropriate.
In the book Sacred Times, William Bloom writes Some deaths occur violently: in accidents and in war, in murder and suicide. We cannot ignore the tragedy of these fatalities or be insensitive to the shocked feelings of the bereaved, but we need to remember that the essence of the death process remains the same. Acknowledging the true inner realities can in itself bring us comfort.
There's a leaflet for coming to terms with sudden traumatic death called Help Is At Hand which you'll find at www.foundationdesign.co.uk/downloads/bereavement.pdf.
Authentically Honouring
What happens when we didn't like the person who has died? Someone who is close in relationship to us, perhaps a family member, but who caused us or others harm, or who acted violently, cruelly or unkindly throughout their life.
We can still give the person a dignified and respectful funeral and if your beliefs include belief in an afterlife then we might include a ritual around healing and forgiveness. We can talk about what feels fitting and include something that feels helpful taking into account all the details and circumstances as necessary.